The BLog

Preservation and Parking

Sun, 19 Sep 2010 20:33:05 -0400

Some of you may not remember a few years back when I had a monthly column in the Mansfield News Journal. I came across some of those old columns the other day and thought I would share them here. This one was from 2003:

I’ve been told that my grandparents owned a house on Third Street in downtown Mansfield. I hear from my parents and uncles all the time about “the house on Third Street”. I only know of this house through pictures, home movies and memories being gathered by family on holidays and, really, at any family event.

When I was born, my grandparents lived on Rhein Avenue. They owned one of those little cape cod type houses with a great basement for playing and a perfect place to put the Christmas Tree. My cousin and I spent a great deal of our childhood at this house playing all of those highly imaginative games in the basement. It was a great house. But if you would hear my mom tell it, the house on Third Street was the greatest place to grow up.

My grandparents’ house on Third Street was a victim of an urban renewal and parking expansion initiative. The reason that I’ve never seen this house is because it was razed in an effort to expand parking in downtown. Parking is certainly an issue, if anyone in downtown Mansfield has an issue with parking, be sure that I’m immediately notified. I don’t mean to say that parking doesn’t need to be addressed, I think it does. But I think it is equally important to think of the repercussions of the actions that we are taking in the name of development.

Historic Preservation is not just about saving buildings. It’s really not that much about buildings at all, at least not to me, but then, I’m more of a people person. It’s about preserving memories and places of value to the community. Luckily for our efforts in the downtown, a great deal of these buildings live in downtowns across the country. These are the core of our communities and I’d rather us see nothing at all done in downtown than see us tear down more buildings.

It will be my generation that will be left to morn these spaces in the years to come. Being an economist type as well, what really gets me the most about historic preservation is that is it the most economically sound choice. I hear people say all the time, “well we could build a new building for just 20K more.” First of all, just in case it’s not clear to everyone, that IS more expensive! Second, and this is the one that is easy for people to forget about, the quality is less. The maintenance and repairs necessary to keep up the value on a new house are a great deal more than a historic house. In the case of my grandparents beautiful well kept house, for example, we would have had a great deal more added value in our community had we left my grandparents house standing than the space now generates from the six people who park there.

Not a whole lot has changed, though I do think we have made some progress in educating Mansfield about Preservation. To say we have a long way to go, though, is quite an understatement. I can also say that since writing this, I have purchased my own historic home and I have come to appreciate saving buildings for building sake as well now, which seven years ago, I did not fully understand. It makes me wonder how far we will get in another seven years!!

Here goes nothing...

Sat, 18 Sep 2010 19:58:29 -0400

I’ve thought LONG AND HARD. It’s time. I’m ready. Here goes nothing...

Goal Number 1: Stop Complaining. Seriously. About anything. It’s really enough. Life is wonderful, the things I bitch about are petty and they take up too much of my time here on earth. I’m done.

Goal Number 2: Live in the present moment. I don’t want to spend all day Tuesday thinking about an upcoming crazy meeting with an unstable politician on Friday. That’s a huge waste of my time & a waste of a perfectly good Tuesday.

Goal Number 3: I actually CAN do it. Whatever it is. I can actually do it. It’s not some specialized skill that I was exempt from learning. If someone else can do it, so can I. If it means I have to work harder, I’ll need to consult the next goal...

Goal Number 4: Work harder, lazy ass!! I know that I have entitlement issues but DAMN girl! People aren’t running marathons without some work, and it’s time I step it up. No, I don’t have time, it’s true. See Goal Number 1.

Goal Number 5: Discover what my big dreams are that I actually want to accomplish and put together an action plan, or at least a spreadsheet.

That’s all. Rome wasn’t built in a day.

Oh.. one more thing. I can use some encouragement, too. Please don’t try to dissuade me from my goals, that’s just childish. Help me accomplish them. Karma will repay you.

Endless Exhaustion

Tue, 14 Sep 2010 14:20:16 -0400

There is a running joke in my house that is not really funny. It goes like this, I say, “i’m so...” and everyone says, “TIRED”. They think it’s hilarious. It’s a reminder to me that I am still chasing my tail around in circles trying to complete simple tasks that appear to never get done on time. Tasks like, you know, that 403b contribution paper I’ve been meaning to change for months, the kids craft cubbys that need cleaned out, or the smoke detector that has remained down since July (it’s functioning, it’s just not hung up). I’m too busy trying to figure out where the dog left my right shoe after she was done chewing on it, or desperately searching for an outfit that Olive might wear without throwing a fit, or simply quizzing Sam on his spelling words. There is that other thing I do, too. WORK. Given my schedule (thankfully), mostly my work-work gets done at hours like 6am or more likely 10pm. Not that I’m complaining. I’m grateful that I don’t have to fit everything in during those crazy hours of 9-5.

I’m not complaining, I gave that up for the next 11 months. (I haven’t told my husband, yet, though!) I’m actually very happy for the exhaustion. It’s a sign that life is good. Work is good, family is good, health is good.   When I was a teenager, I lived a very over-scheduled life. I volunteered, I worked, I had tons of friends and activities. I often wondered what grownups do with all that time - something dreadfully boring, I was sure. Parents of young children, especially, seem to always be rushing around, busy, no time for anything. Often they didn’t even notice what was happening around them. I was worried that I would be bored with my grown up life and my horrible minivan filled with boring, miserable and ugly children.

Not a chance. It’s endless....exhaustion. Thankfully!!

Have you seen my goals?

Sun, 12 Sep 2010 20:15:35 -0400

I caught myself making an off handed comment to a few friends during the past weeks that has me wondering. It’s been birthday time around the Kime’s house, which brings more cause for reflection than usual. Still, to hear myself say, “I live like a 14 year old” has me thinking.

First of all, what do I mean by that? For a phrase that comes out so easily, I wonder what I’m trying to say! While I am a super busy mother of three, my day to day life is as scattered and spontaneous as it has always been. We have little structure, my kids struggle to wake me up every morning, I’m constantly searching for my black pants and hair bands, and every meal comes on like a surprise. That’s not so say that there isn’t an order about things. With children, there has to be rest time and bedtime, etc. Unlike a lot of friends, though, we are far from chained to the structure. It’s more a fluid guide than a set schedule.

Secondly, is that a good thing, or a bad thing? It can be crazy frustrating to be a teenager in a grown up world with grown up responsibilities. I certainly thought that at thrity...., err.... twnety-nine, I would be way more mature. Most days I feel like a kid playing pretend house. Yes, that is a source of huge frustration for me! I can’t tell you how much I want to be that woman with the twinset and trouser jeans who gets up two hours before her kids to workout, shower, blowdry, iron & pack lunches. You know the type, her recycling bin is always about 1/4 full, she has all the ingredients on hand to make cupcakes and a meatloaf and her car is always freshly detailed and full of gas.

I struggle to get up in time to shower. I feel like I have no time for anything. Part of that is because I really don’t have a lot of time. Between working at home and in the office, sitting on 5 boards, managing the schedules of 6 different activities and general household work, I’m really exhausted! It’s the sad truth.

The other issue for me has been lack of a more complete structure. I’m talking about the kind here where I differentiate between dinner at 5:15 on Tuesdays and dinner at 7:45 on Wednesdays and adjust the snack schedule accordingly. For me, while I get frustrated organizing meal times, it just seems so unfulfilling to schedule out our days to that degree. Where is the spontaneity? However, my current system of living in the moment just isn’t cutting it over here. It has left me scrambling for too many things at the last minute too many times!

Even though I am reluctant, I need to have some goals...

I have been working with a personal trainer for a few months now. Several personality ....um...traits... have really been brought to the surface. He keeps asking me about my goals. He must think I’m crazy when I tell him that I don’t have any. Even as I say it, I think... am I really the only one with no goals? I mean, I would like to retire someday. Does that count?

My trainer says that no one ever gets anywhere without setting goals. I think, “I got here with no goals”. It may not be red carpet, but it’s far from back alley and I’m pretty crazy happy. Is a lack of goals a reflection of a lack of order and responsibility, even maturity? Im all about living in the moment, really enjoying and soaking in this day.

Lastly, where do I go from here? I’m able to establish and work toward goals at work. At work, I mostly live in the future, planning and organizing events and development projects 6-12 months in the future. At home, though, I’m totally, “seriously, this is our last diaper?”. Where these two thought patterns converge is where I need to spend more time, for the sanity of both of my lives. Until I figure that out, I’m doing the simplest thing possible. I’m adding myself to the household chore chart. It may be elementary, but I think it’s a step in the right direction. Though, I know my “not so inner” 14 year old will surely rebel!!

Political Parenting

Sat, 14 Aug 2010 08:24:28 -0400

It is easily said that personal is political, but there is nothing like parenting to show everyone who you really are, politically.

The choices that parents make have a huge effect on not only economic modeling, but also political perspective. Parents are an influential bunch! In fact, advertising geared toward children and parents has increased substantially in the past decade due to a continued increase in spending among parents of young children. Even with the downturn in the market, parents maintain much of the spending as it relates to their children, except in the most extreme cases where personal financial loses are too great. Estimates predict that to raise a child born this year here in Mansfield to the age of 18 will cost over 400,000. Considering I have three children so far... I’m thinking we may need to increase our retirement investments!

It’s not how much we spend (but, OH BOY we spend A LOT!) that I find as important as what we buy. I’m a strong believer in our free market economy and at the end of the day, our purchasing power is where much of our strong influence is held. Among our first choices are Dr. or Midwives, where and how our births will happen, circumcisions, breastfeeding, diapers, first food choices, clothing, gear, etc. Knowing what I know about the moms of my generation, many of these choices are made after much consideration.

The choices are embedded into our political beings and are reflections of our overall view of the world, our lives and our society. Our hopes and dreams for the future are expressed in how we raise our children and the views and beliefs we want them to hold. Not that it happens that way, or that we have ultimate choice over what they believe, but there is no doubt that our influence is strong.

Mark and I, both having been vegetarians, serve family meals that have very little reliance on meat. We eat meat rarely and substitute proteins often. As a result, the children love unusual foods like Morningstar Farms Asian patties and Amy’s organic burritos. When Sam was around 3, he put the connection together between eating chicken and chicken the animal. We were in the Starbucks drive thru (don’t judge) when he asked the questions I had been waiting for, “Do we kill chickens to eat them? Does it hurt them?” I was so excited I almost skipped getting the coffee, almost. “Yes, Sam. In fact (In a proper upright tone), many people don’t eat animals for that reason. We put very little animal based foods in our diets for a lot of reasons, and that is one of them” I continued...”If you would prefer, you could chose to be a vegetarian also and not eat chicken” Keep in mind here, that Sam was my first child and he and I often have very grownup conversations. Sam thought about my proposal for a while. Finally he said, “mom, I thought about it. I don’t really care if they get hurt, it’s fine. I’ll still eat chicken.” FAIL.

I eventually picked myself up from that parental fail and moved on. I’m proud to say that I managed so far to have raised him to be a very philanthropic child. He has done many chores and donated his allowance to charities, he has raised over $300 from a birthday party to donate to a local organization He worked to raise money for the children of Haiti and we matched his donations.. He continues to ask many questions about the world and it’s injustices. As I answer, I consider my words carefully because I do not take lightly that I am shaping his views of the world. I deeply want him to understand the inequities in the world and how he can do something to help.

I thought about this again last night as we were at an awards ceremony at our local park for people who donated their time and money to special park program. It was another great opportunity for me to talk with them about different ways that people contribute to the community. I asked that they think of ways that they could contribute and they came up with some great suggestions. Political? Hell Yes! Sam has met our City Mayor a few times, many council people and county commissioners. He is always very impressed! He listens closely to the local news in the morning and asks questions about programs and policies that they talk about. As you can imagine, I’m happy to fill them in!

But there are much more subtle ways in which we express to our children our political beliefs and priorities. Where we chose to live is a big one. We chose a historic near downtown neighborhood within walking distance to a park, bank, hospital, doctor, connivence store, deli, restaurants, video store, etc. We often walk to many of these places, too (NOT when it’s 92 degrees). We grow fruits and vegetables on our little plot of land, mow with a reel mower and recycle or reuse almost everything. We pack waste free snacks and lunches and even have a compost pile for lawn waste. Political? Of course.

The priorities we choose for our day to day lives are strong reflections of the priorities we have for our communities and they show our children our world view. They influence what we purchase, where we go and how we behave.

Parenting is political, whether you are doing it consciously, as we are, or not. We are parenting the next generation of leaders. We need to teach them very carefully. How we spend our money and time is our parental political influence and it’s shaping the future!